Which face do you see?

I recently read Jennefer's awesome post Confessions of a Homeschooling Mom, and it got me thinking about how I often try to be as transparent, real and open as possible in "real life," yet since starting this blog, I have yet to talk much about my real life, nor let my true spazzy self shine through! So in an attempt to "Get Real for a Moment," here are my own confessions:

(1) I don't exactly love every moment of Motherhood -- you know those moments that you have to laugh to keep yourself from crying? I understand that they happen, and that they help you to better appreciate the really good times...and that these moments are few and far between....BUT, I don't love 'em! So you can better feel my pain, here are just a few examples that happened in the last few days.

I have:

- been puked on (several times)

- been peed on

- had noses wiped on me

and

- had to clean up after my potty training princess clogged the toilet and proceeded to flush over and over until the entire bathroom and carpet in the hallway were soaked (but it is hard to be mad when she did make it and was trying to clean up after herself the whole time water was flowing around her toes!)

(2) I love to act like a big kid, dancing around the house, laughing and singing made up songs with my girls.... yet when I get in groups with godly women from church, I clam up and put on this People-Pleasing front. I worry that the lovely ladies, who all seem to have the 'gentle quiet spirits' that the Bible mentions so often, would judge my silliness as immaturity. I so desperately want my girls to grow up and not worry about what other people think of them -- to just care what they think of themselves and how God sees them, yet I fail to live up to this desire myself so often!!!

(3) I have to strongly fight the desire to Keep Up With The Joneses. Since moving to Houston, my husband and I have met very few couples around our own age.... most are at least 10-13 years our senior. Needless to say, they have had a lot more time then we have had to accumulate "stuff." To have their homes just the way they want them, to have a beautifully landscaped front yard and a relaxing oasis in the backyard. I LOVE to entertain (according to the spiritual gifts test, I scored the second highest in hospitality), yet I feel this need to have the house clean enough to pass the white glove test and to erase all signs that preschoolers live here, in fear that I won't measure up in their minds. Do I really think my friends and acquaintances are so shallow? Why can't I simply invite people over to my house, the way it is at 3:30 every day with toys and books everywhere, leftover snack on the table and a collection of sippy cups sitting on the counter next to the fridge?

(4) I don't like to wake up early! Yes, I know you should, and that it is the ideal time for me to read my Bible before the girls wake up, exercise and get breakfast on the table before DH leaves, but I like my bed... I like my covers....I love my soft purple eye mask that says "Dream" on it!! I can't seem to get myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour or take a nap when the girls do, like I always tell myself I will. This is definitely something that needs to be added to my New Year's Resolutions List.....but it is just so hard!!!

(5) Since getting married, I have lost the ability to hang pictures, call service people, make complaints, or order at a restaurant. I know, feminists everywhere will hate me --but then again, they probably aren't reading my blog --but I like to see my husband be manly and I really hate being mean.....maybe it is that I am lazy, which is definitely a possibility, but there is so much security and freedom in knowing that you are being taken care of and are cherished :-)

(6) I don't like talking on the phone..... what is up with that?!? I LOVED it when I was in elementary school and high school! I was always on the phone... in fact, I would call up friends to watch tv over the phone together! But now, if you call me during the day, I have to fight the feeling of being frustrated. Between keeping up with the kids, homeschooling, the housework, and trying to make some time here and there for "me" things ( bible studies, fun reading, blogging, writing, exercising, showers), I just don't have the energy to talk on the phone anymore!! Please don't feel like you can't call me, but if you would be just as happy emailing me, it would make life so much simpler for me :-) (Side note: Is that completely horrible? Or am I just worried about other people's opinions again.. Blah!)

I am sure there are many other things that I need to "Get Real" about, but the time is ticking on the girls nap time and I need to do a few of those "me" things, so until next time....

Love in Christ,
Rachel